Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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