I don't think brook has ever known best
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
