brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
