i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
