i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
