dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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