I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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