they need to just BURY HIM!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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