Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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