There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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