A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
