I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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