im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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