can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
