3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
