can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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