I puked a lego.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
