He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
