I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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