My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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