omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
