she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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