Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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