I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She bit a glass in half.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
