I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
