I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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