I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
