Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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