DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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