Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
