It's Friday. Sex?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
