I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
where are you?
Hypothermia
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
