??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
