Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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