doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
