So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
