he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
