let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
