you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
