I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
