Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
How does it feel to date your dad?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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