How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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