Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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