I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
