Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
