whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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