you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
