:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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