I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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