I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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