sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
